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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

im so confused...
there is a person who have been telling me that you are not the guy for me and other than the two of us there is always another girl in the picture... well i thought that wouldn't be true and i ignored it... but sooner or later i realise that it was like what he has said to me... everything that we do or say you would eventually link back to her... well or maybe you are just close to her and very good friends but somehow it is things that most girlfriends can't except from their boyfriend... you could say that im unreasonable but if i really didn't care this would mean that i didn't love you at all... although i could act like i didn't mind but each and everytime you talk about her it hurts me... im fine really perfectly fine... but when facing you it is so stress cause everytime when i look at you the person i see is her... with you and her im the extra one... without her im the only one but it is quite obvious that she is always on your mind... for the two days when she ask to meet the both of you i was reluctant cause i would look like a retard... i know definitely i will show attitude de and you will be angry with me... i reject and reject but after all i went to meet you all cause i really want to see you... even if it means that i got to spend all my money taking cab, get scolding from my mother and also you being angry with me i still went to meet you two JUST TO SEE YOU... well after all the foolish things that i have done, it made me realise that doing that was not worth it... i know when you see this you will be angry but i dun really care anymore... this is tthe only way i could relieve the pain and stress that i have... tonight i sms to ask you if i had a very close friend and is a guy would you be unhappy... your reply obviously tell me that you would be unhappy or rather you would even break up with me... well by those sms you were alr quite unhappy... why not change the position of the people and you are the one who is asking me this question... obviously i would be unhappy if you have a very close friend and is a girl... i mean even if i act nice and look like im fine but IM NOT!!! put yourself in my position and then tell me how you would feel... there was so many times when i feel like telling you that we should stop talking to each other but i didn't do so cause i know i would go crazy...
when i was typing this blog post i was crying when i was smsing you and typing it i was crying very badly... you thought i ask all that question cause i want to go out with other guys... but you didnt think that i ask that cause i want you to understand how i feel about you and her... both of you could say that you are just good friends but to other people you all look more like a couple... crying is not something im best at but i just can't control my tears from running down my cheek... i really hope you would read my blog. hope you could understand, but im just having too much hope...

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