Sunday, November 30, 2008
Sat, 29/11/08
although i was sad and unhappy because of baby but i still went to meet up with emily and ynez... left my house at about 12 and went to Ynez's house. went to her house wait for her to be done bathing den we went out... took a cab to ikea cause we were lazy to take a bus... ahaha... went to ikea and we ate meatballs for lunch... hehe... emily and ynez both ate 10pcs each and i ate 15pcs... im so in love with the ikea meatballs... its damn nice... we helped to clear the plates and the aunty actually gave us 3 coupons and we can redeem free drinks... haha... went to walk around the ikea showroom and off we went to bugis cause we were running late... took shuttle bus to bedok interchange and we took train down to bugis... went to the shop bape and the shopkeeper there was like 'pestering'(i can't find a better word to describe) me... went to walk around bugis looking at caps, and sunglasses and we met up with jeremy... hehe... walk over to bugis street to pierce our ear... haha... jeremy, emily and me... the girl who helped me pierce my ear told me that i couldn't eat seafood and so i said ok... the next question she ask me was... in a plate of prawn noodle what can i not eat?... the first thing i said was prawns... but after i thought for a whil den i said the whole plate of prawn noodle i can't eat... and finally she said that was the answer that i was waiting for you to tell me... lol. what a weird question to ask... now i got 5 ear holes going to get more... hehe... if nobody objects... haha... after piercing our ear we took a train down to somerset and we went to cineleisure to look for watches... went to num too to see if there is anything that we can buy there... end up ynez, me and emily went to buy an anklet together... hehe... we walked down to far east and went into stage shop... saw this jacket that i like a lot sia... but baby confirm won't allow me to buy it der... i shall save money to buy it myself... haha... out of far east we went to pacific plaza... was looking at nike shoe and mainly finding for jackets that i can buy... haha... went to a cd shop and i bought 3 dvds... haha... walked out of pacific plaza was already quite late and we haven eaten our dinner yet and we walked to shaw towers and decided on eating at mos burger... emily, ynez and jeremy ate burger and i only bought a corn soup... don't know why when everybody going to start eating emily kept on laughing and she couldn't stop laughing for some time and i started laughing with her too... the two of us just kept laughing about almost everything... emily couldn't finish her burger cause she keep on laughing till she feel very bloated so we sat there for a while and we went to take a train home... and by the time we leave orchard it was already 10.30... we stop laughing only at the train station... took the same train as ynez cause she stay near my house but she drop off at kembangan cause it is more convenient for her... hehe... by the time i reach home it was nearly 12 already... its been such a long time since i go out with my friends till late night... haha... so happy lei...
Thanks Ynez, Emily and Jeremy,
because of you all i felt better today,
at least i am not sad anymore.
Blogged at :
1:27:00 AM
Saturday, November 29, 2008
sent baby a very long msg ytd night and he replied one very long sms this morning... one part of the msg he told me that we shouldn't contact or meet for a few days... after reading his whole msg i couldn't get back to sleep and i kept on crying... i stopped crying for a while and calm myself down and i decided to reply one last msg to baby... while replying the msg i started crying again and i had a very strong feeling that after this msg i will not get to talk to baby again... i am so scared that i will not get to see him and talk to him anymore... i miss hugging baby... i feel so stupid... all the while i made him angry and made myself angry was because of one question that i asked him... i already know what the answer would be and yet i still went to ask... i seemed to be fine after asking that question but i clearly know that the answer affected me a lot thats why i reacted in this way... mummy told me sometimes you know the answer le than don't go and ask to know the truth... if you never ask and you don't know the answer you will just assume that you are wrong... so what if you know the truth, end up you will only get yourself hurt... i know what mummy say was right but it was already too late... i have already asked that question and baby have already answered... i know the answer thats why i became like that... why... why am i always so screwed up... how i wish i had not ask baby the question so we wouldn't be like that now... argh i always do something and when i get myself hurt i would regret... i am such an idiot...
Blogged at :
10:47:00 AM
went to school today but i struggled through the whole day... was freaking tired and in the midst of other's team presentation i fell asleep... went to the toilet to wash my face so that i would be awake... but im still tired... really don't feel like going to work today... some more today emily is going to ikea and we are going to eat dinner together so i really dun feel like going for work... haiis... i have got no choice... after school went to ikea with ynez and emily... ynez went to work and me and emily went to the cafe to eat... saw brandon at the cafe and i got shocked... haha... my reaction was funny i thought... den i took a cab to work and after work took a cab back to meet up with emily... didn't do much during work and i was very quiet... didn't have the mood to talk about anything... barry was asking if i quarreled with eddie or something big has happen thats why i look so down but i just said that everything was fine... i told him that i was just tired... but he didn't believe... he delayed for a while before letting me go to discuss about my schedule for work... and so i was late meeting emily... me and emily walked around ikea to look at the showroom... we only went to the bedroom, bathroom and kids section... the rest not interested... hehe... went home at about 9 plus and im lonely again... argh...
i miss eddie... im starting to miss baby a lot... i've already forgotten the time when i last saw him... i miss his hugs and kisses... i miss him holding my hands... but he seems so far away from me now... i miss him but yet when im talking to him i dunno what i should talk to him about and what should i tell him... im starting to forget how he really is like... he is my bf and yet a stranger to me too... i suddenly feel that i don't know him well or maybe i really don't know him well... i miss him, i want to see him but at the same time im also starting to get use to the life without him... this isn't what i want... argh... I Miss Baby So Much!!!!!
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12:04:00 AM
Friday, November 28, 2008
didn't feel like going to school when i wake up today cause i feel very very tired... as usual i am late for school... was never early for class for a long time alr... i was so surprised that even before i leave the house i receive msg from baby... amazing... didn't sleep on the bus today even though im very tired cause i was playing loco roco on my psp and that kept me awake till i reach school... i was dam tired when i reach school... when i reach the class it was quite empty cause most people came late... lol... my class...
just reach class first thing george ask me was if i am leavin early today so that he would know what he should do... was talking to didi online and she was saying that she is going to leave early cause don't like cognitive... then i was tempted to leave liao... cause feeling really very sleepy some more later need to work... shag ar... wanted to leave early go baby's house to sleep before going work... but remembered that today baby after school going to play basketball and i alr told george that i would be staying so i just got to stay... since i got no place to go... damn it...
Blogged at :
9:41:00 AM
Thursday, November 27, 2008
parents got problem they nag at me... vent all their anger on me like as if i have no feelings... they have problem i am always the one who will be in trouble just because of them... but when i have problem who can i talk to? who can i vent my anger on? they vent all their anger on me and i got to take in everything and keep it to myself... they are not going crazy but i am... they give me money.. so does that give them the right to vent all their anger on me... wtf... they scold me and shout at me... but when all that happens and i don't know what to do who can i talk to? i got nobody to confide in so what does my parents expect me to do??? i seriously think im better off dead so that i wont get the nagging from them... it totally sucks being an only child... its not i don't like to stay at home but whats the point of staying at home and get involve in their nonsense... i hate my home and i hate this family that i have i hate my parents... people might say i have attitude problem... people might have seen how nice my parents have been but when there is only the 3 of us things are always different... the way i am being treated is always different... being home to me is like being in hell... if i ever have a choice i would rather not stay at home... this house of mine and family just sucks...
Blogged at :
11:36:00 PM
woke up late today so end up i didnt go to school... met up with emily and jeremy at woodlands interchange and off we went to amki hub to meet ynez... hehe... all 4 of us didn't go to school... went to macs for breakfast and we went to KBox to sing... hehe... we went there for KLunch so we settled our lunch in KBox... the air-con was so cold that we were all freezing... Ynez started singing first and her singing was damn nice... jeremy sing like only one song... hahaha.... we finished singing by 2pm and we went to KPool... haha... decided to play there for 1hr before going back... so Ynez and Jeremy stared first as me and Emily didn't wanted to play... haha... but end up i played one round with Ynez without any confidence i thought i would l0se but i dunno how but i won her... its been one yr since i last play pool... i totally suck at playing pool alr... ahaha... should go and play pool more to get better at it... but sad got nobody to go with me alr... haiis... we went to walk around amk hub and we started taking pictures at one end near the lobby where there is nobody... we tried to jump and touch the ceiling but only jeremy manage to do it... end up we started taking photos jumping... and when we are walking emily was taking the camera and taking pictures with everyone of us... haha... after walking around amk hub emily and jeremy took bus home, me and ynez took a train back to woodlands to take 168... wanted to accompany ynez go work and eat meatballs end up she didn't have enough time so i just took a bus with her where she alight at ikea and i went home... intend to go out after i reach home but im lazy so never go out...
im surprised that baby actually didn't sms me or call me to ask where i am just because i didn't sms him or call him either... but why can't he take the initiative to sms me??? argh... to interpret this... he doesn't care about me... haiis... sometimes how i wish when im at home and i never ask to meet he will come and meet me... what happen to baby... for the past one week we don't seemed to be very good... im tired... i suddenly find that it is so difficult for me to communicate with baby... its not i don't want to talk to him but he is so fierce that i don't know how i can talk to him... baby can be really nice at times but this few days he have been very fierce... i really don't know how i can talk to him... why doesn't he know how to sms me first when i don't sms him? must i always be the one to sms him first??? argh...
im surprised that baby actually didn't sms me or call me to ask where i am just because i didn't sms him or call him either... but why can't he take the initiative to sms me??? argh... to interpret this... he doesn't care about me... haiis... sometimes how i wish when im at home and i never ask to meet he will come and meet me... what happen to baby... for the past one week we don't seemed to be very good... im tired... i suddenly find that it is so difficult for me to communicate with baby... its not i don't want to talk to him but he is so fierce that i don't know how i can talk to him... baby can be really nice at times but this few days he have been very fierce... i really don't know how i can talk to him... why doesn't he know how to sms me first when i don't sms him? must i always be the one to sms him first??? argh...
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6:51:00 PM
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
baby bought this for me yesterday while we were out... and it is named ZHUson... ahahaha... so cuteeee lei... brought it to school today since my bag is quite empty... haha...
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9:46:00 AM
Monday, November 24, 2008
have i lost myself? im not emo-ing but i just can't be bothered with anything that is around me... im getting lazy to sms and talk on the phone... i dun feel like using my phone anymore... i feel like taking a few days break and leave the country... off my phone and not contact anybody... i want to sleep and never wake up... i want to leave this place i suddenly don't like the place where i am... everything feel different now... what is done seems like it cant be changed anymore... i want what i have last time... damn...
Blogged at :
11:54:00 AM
Sunday, November 23, 2008
to think i always put baby in the first place for every single thing i do and for everything that i have and yet the reply i get from him was a totally different answer... feel so stupid... i feel like an idiot... i want the baby that i knew previously... the baby that was sometimes fierce to me but after a while very nice and caring... baby that will always praise me and say nice things about me... what happen to the baby i knew??? i seemed to lost him alr... i seemed to lost everything in my life... whatever i do now is all wrong to him... so whats right? i sense that im giving up soon cause i dunno what to do... baby i miss you!!!
Blogged at :
10:36:00 PM
what a bad day it is for me today... woke up late for work and the worse thing was the key is with me... everybody was waiting for me to go and open the shop... damn... first thing in the morning saw baby's message saying that i was irresponsible like as if i purposely didn't want to turn up for work... i felt damn sad cause didn't expect baby to say that of me... suddenly i felt like i can't trust anybody anymore cause even baby can't trust me... it was my fault to wake up late but right after im awake i answered their calls and told them where i was... i wasn't irresponsible... im placed last between baby's friend, work and me... i can't believe this is how important i am to him... he said without work den he got no money no future den cannot have me... am i that expensive?? this few days baby's words are very hurting... he said i was selfish, irresponsible, say i make people angry, scolded me cb... what else can he scold me? why not say im irritating, tell me he don't like me... maybe if he finish scolding all at once i would feel better den i won't be tortured for a few days hearing how mean can he be to me... whats wrong with baby this few days? where is baby whom i used to know to be very nice to me, make me feel that im always placed first in everything, who will tolerate me and think for me... baby has never been so mean to me before not ever since i know him till now... after work was supposed to go out with baby but i decided not to cause he said he was having a headache and to prevent him from saying that im selfish for not giving him his time i decided not to ask him out... its not like i dun want to see him but i just don't dare to ask... anyways without asking i alr know what is the answer... reached home thought mummy will be home to talk to me but when i was home nobody was around and mummy didn't even call to ask where i am today... nobody wants me alr? not even baby wants me... im just a pathetic person whom nobody wants... i suppose if anything happen to me nobody will bother... whats the point of treating everybody so nice just to make everybody happy and like me when people doesn't appreciate it... like baby i treat him so nice but he still says mean things to me... i didn't mean to hang his call on purpose but he claims that i did it out to irritate him... wow... thanks... that made my day since morning... what a nice start seeing people saying that i am irresponsible and that i irritate people... who can come and comfort me now??? im so pathetic... i miss baby whom i used to know... the piglet that was very nice that will never say anything mean to me...
Labels: baby i miss you...
Blogged at :
4:10:00 PM
Saturday, November 22, 2008
for so long today is the first day i work weekends afternoon... hehe. i get to work with baby lei... but sad im the cashier den baby is always outside der... poor baby today got to clean the rooftop when the weather is so hot... haiis... so worried for him neh... later he fall sick den got to see doctor again... haiis... can't wait to see baby later... wondering if he is working tmr... if not working den tmr we can go out together... hehe... but tmr i got work so we can only go out after i finish work... can't take anymore off days cause i have been taking a lot of off days already... feel like changing job again but what job can i change to... like my job but i don't like the people there anymore its not what it used to be like... everybody left and im still there... the only thing that is motivating me to work now is that cause baby is working at the same place where im working at... got to go to work soon and the wether is so bloody hot that i don't feel like leaving the house... argh... i dread to go to work today... :(
Blogged at :
11:59:00 AM
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
17/11/08
didn't go to school today cause i woke up extremely late and i reached woodlands at about 10 which is very late. just reach woodlands only i went to take a bus to parkway. sian lo went to parkway alone but at least i saw things that i like but can't waste money so i can't buy things... like also cannot buy. cause eddie confirm say i anyhow spend money. if i tell him i want to buy this buy that he confirm scold de lor... sians... can see cannot buy... haiis. after i done walking around at parkway got no place to go so i went to take bus 15 and went to eddie's house. was at his house till 3 cause he need to go to work. took a cab to east coast cause he said he was late for work. stayed there for a while den i went to parkway to buy contact lens cause i dun have perfect eyesight. sobs. on the way back stop at bubble tea shop to buy double oreo chocolate ice-blend for eddie dear dear. i so nice right. haha. stayed at east coast with him till 7 plus den i wet back home cause never tell mummy that im going out... and she also dun allow me to go to east coast. haiis. mummy cook dinner and i didn't eat cause waiting for dear dear to finish work den i eat with him. stayed at home and watch tv while waiting for eddie to finish work. ate my dinner only at 10 plus... dear only left my house at about 11.30.
anyways,.. Happy 3 Months Anniversary!
Blogged at :
9:37:00 AM
Sunday, November 16, 2008
anniversary anniversary... its getting more and more not important... if this continues on i suppose i will even forget whats so special about the day...its just 3 months together but we are having so much problem. whats wrong? we are always fine for a few days and after that we are not. there is just too many problems between us but i don't even know what is the problem about. everything is making me feel miserable. i once thought i could prove people wrong about us being together was a mistake but somehow im not very sure about that myself now. but whatever choice i make now, i would still regret... i dunno what i can do... somebody tell me what should i do. im goin crazy soon...
when you left me just like that i was shocked and pissed off. shock because i didn't expect you to have done that. pissed was because you left without even saying bye to me... saw you online and tried to talk to you but you just dun want to reply me... can you pls tell me what you want from me? i dunoo what i can do the only thing i could do was to cry... i can't stop crying... damn... everytime i see the ring i felt worse... dun have the mood to go to school tmr...
when you left me just like that i was shocked and pissed off. shock because i didn't expect you to have done that. pissed was because you left without even saying bye to me... saw you online and tried to talk to you but you just dun want to reply me... can you pls tell me what you want from me? i dunoo what i can do the only thing i could do was to cry... i can't stop crying... damn... everytime i see the ring i felt worse... dun have the mood to go to school tmr...
im falling sick. AGAIN... this shouldn't be happening but i dunno why is it happening again... everytime i see a doctor it is just a waste of my money... argh... sick sick sick.
where's my piglet? i miss him...
Blogged at :
11:41:00 PM
15/11/2008
was late for work in the morning today and i took a cab to work. wasn't feeling well in the morning and i vomitted. didn't do much for work today as i wasn't feeling well and not in the mood to work. so i became the cashier and i kept trying to find for time when i can sit down to rest. i just feel so lethargic and my stomach hurts. tonight having crew night and i got to stay till late night. however i really feel like going home to rest after work. even though, i stayed till 8 to attend crew night cause eddie planned it and i thought it wouldn't be nice if i didn't go. no matter how tired and how unwell i am i still attended the crew night. not because i want to get my pay but because eddie planned it. took all my cheques and i still have one more to take. wonder when am i going to get it. jeremy fetch me and eddie and kim back together since he was going to somewhere near where we are going to. its another tring day of work tmr for me again. im so freaking tired.
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2:07:00 AM
Friday, November 14, 2008
woke up late today morning... mum is still showing me her stupid attitude and still throwing things at me so i really can't be bothered to ask her to help me out. i rather be late for school den asking her to help me prepare my things... left the house only at 7.30 and i definitely know im extremely late... took a bus to school but surprisingly i was late only for about 10min... i think i reach school too early. don't like cognitive... i would feel even better if i can have a choice of not even coming to school...
today's problem is shit... i dun even understand what is it talking about. not even after i finish reading the problem statement. im totally not following with what the class is doing. how i wish i can change team... i dread to be with this team. argh...
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9:30:00 AM
Thursday, November 13, 2008
today woke up late and i was damn late for ut... haiis... and louis, we are suppose to meet up at 8.15 at woodlands end up all late... he was even later than me. haha... wanted to leave early today but since i know how to solve today's problem i decided to stay in school. after school its free time! told mummy that i was going out and surprisingly she never say anything... wakaka. ytd pack the presents for skatesports crew till im tired lei. 1 plus den sleep... im so tired. thinking of where i can go today after school cause i really got no idea where i can go today... haiis...
was trying to solve maths equations today but met with equations that have 5 variables im stuck. i was totally lost i could only solve the equations with 3 variables. maybe im just stupid. haha. no im not i mange to solve equations k. at least i tried. we finished school at almost 5 today and im teamed with angie, emily, yang yi and jia min. walked to interchange with uncle louis, yang yi, danny, fatin and yue ming. wanted to accompany yue ming to bishan but mummy was waiting for me at home to eat dinner so i went home first. after dinner went home to bath and went to meet kim at bedok inter to pass her the presents for skatesports crew this coming saturday. took bus 25 to eddie's house to find for him cause i need to take psp charger from him. got to charge my psp. no batt le.. currently so addicted to playing loco roco... haha... dear dear send me back home after i went to his house den stay at my house for a while den he go back... hehe... tmr he got to help me bring my skates to tampines cause i got coaching at tampines but got school before that... sorry eddie dear dear to mah fan you...
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12:32:00 PM
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
hehe... so happy eddie pass his bike rtt ytd and prac 4 today... no confidence but still pass.. cause he got 226234 blessing. haha. hope he gets his bike licensed soon. don't say i dun allow you to ride bike hor. although i really dun like you to ride bike cause i think that it is dangerous. i care for you. but since you like to ride bike what can i say lei. if i dun allow i think next time eddie won't want me alr. haha. think too much. 226234 ILOVEYOU!
ytd left school at about 1.30pm, went to meet eddie dear dear. was supppose to meet him at his house but i met him at his school bus stop. was suppose to go to his school bus stop to change bus and before i reach there he alr tell me he left school le also dunno what he doing at the bus stop. haha. but anyways got people to accompany me take bus is always very nice. went to eddie dear dear's house cause he need to change out of his uniform before he can go out... mah fan de ren... but not very mah fan cause i love him. hehe... we went to eunos mrt station to take mrt suppose to go to takashimaya but eddie suggested me to go to bugis to do manicure so anything lor. gave my manicurist a call and we went to bugis. end up went to do manicure eddie saw his secondary school friend cause working at the shop where im doind my manicure and my usual manicurist geraldine came while im painting my nails. eddie and his friend went to smoke while geraldine took over and continued painting my nails. haha... after doing manicure went to bugis junction for a walk, we went to basement to buy food to eat... took a bus home and somebody scratched one of my nail... was dam sad can... destroy my nails. bloody hell.
went home and watch zhuan jiao yu dao ai by 11 eddie dear dear say he want to go home le cause very late alr. i was looking dam sad lor. how i wish he lives just opp my block or same block different level or best staying together. like that i will have a big big bolster. haha. im not trying to say that you are fat dear. but you are indeed bigger than my bolster. hehe... but nvm going to see eddie again tmr cause we are going to east coast. hehe.
today morning wake up late rush out of the house cause i remembered that i got to meet louis. however when i reaching woodlands interchange he said he just wake up. haiis... den he never come school. but anyways congrats to uncle louis. pass your prac 8 liao hor. next month 18 TP liao hor. must pass lei... hehe...
today slack in class the whole day cause i only want to watch zhuan jiao yu dao ai now... hehe... forget to take money from mummy today and damn i dun need to eat. luckily i got a group of nice friends and ugine offered to lend me money. thanks Ugine and not forgetting Alex too. ate laksa but right after that my gastric pain is back. sian. was never feeling well. im always ill. damn. didn't contribute anything to my team today and that made me felt very bad. thought my presentation is going to be another disaster but it turned out well though. i guess it was 226234 blessing. hehe. received sms from eddie dear dear and he send me this to figure out 45683968866. thanks dear. i know what it mean.
ILOVEYOU! 226234.
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3:34:00 PM
Friday, November 7, 2008
BABY I'M SORRY!!!
mummy haven decide if we are going to BINTAN but im still very happy... HAHA... cause there is a very high chance that she will bring me to BINTAN!!!! im so excited!... i can't wait for her to tell me her decision... but if she were to say that we are not going den i will be very very sad... but its ok.. if she is not going to bring me to bintan den i shall go to sentosa... haha... can go and relaxed and play with my niece and nephew... today came to school late and leaving school early cause im going to town to watch The Coffin!!! its a horror show i know but i dun care!.... haha... can't wait till 2nd break...
Blogged at :
9:35:00 AM
Thursday, November 6, 2008
its been a long time since i update my blog...
was sick for nearly one week... gastric pain to fever, flu and soar throat... and medicine doesn't work that well. the fever would subside and after i will have fever again. when am i going to get well??? hate to swallow pills and drink cough syrup everyday... it makes me feel so drowsy that i cannot concentrate in anything that i do... im still sick and im going back to work soon and if i don't get enough rest im going to fall sick again then it will be worse... i don't want to go for work yet... have not rest enough... this week's daily grade in school is like shit cause have been going to school for only half-day... damn... tmr is another half-day cause classmates decided to go and watch Coffin... although its scary but i have decided to go and watch it... although im sick but the best thing is mummy is considering taking me to bintan!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA.....
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7:00:00 PM